November 14, 2004



my LYS is an ODD place. beautiful first-class yarns, super-cheesy novelty yarns, debbie bliss pattern books, VK, etc. however... they only have a FEW first-class yarns, they only recently started carrying interweave, and they've never heard of koigu, R2, or Knit 1. *i* introduced them to the wonders of knitty, recently! and as for finding books like "scarf style", "last minute gifts" or... Amy Singer's book (i forgot the title!), FAT CHANCE. but i guarantee they'll have "hip to knit", that hat-shaped hat book, and a dozen baby and accessory books. it's almost as if they were made with the "pick up knitting for a few months because it's cool, then drop it" crowd. dont get me wrong, i LOVE them. the ladies are the best, and so sweet and wonderful to me. they even try to give me a $ break when they know there's something i'm in love with, but just cant afford. sometimes they'll have me make a store sample for them in exchange.

i just wish i had a haven like webs, threadbear or knit happens in my area :)
i have LYS-envy!

the reason for this rant? i'm SERIOUSLY interested in checking out the new IK, R2 and Knit1 magazines, but i dont like buying pattern magazines unless i get to flip through them. i'll chance it with rowan, cause i know i'll NEVER see that at the LYS, and i love rowan. to death. but... not the magazines. they're not quite as reliable, shall we say. more hit-and-miss. OY, if only i could have a look at a physical copy. i think i should pester them more about carrying a few 'updated' items. perhaps i'll start slow, just a few balls of Kidsilk Haze, then we'll move on from there.

mini non-knitting rant:
and why is there NO NEWS STAND ON LONG ISLAND that seems to sell Jane Magazine? i <3>

back to knitting.
i hate to sound like a whiny, greedy little girl. but i bet i'm going to.
disclaimer: i'm NOT this materialistic in real life. however i CAN be this jealous in real life. but it's more related to attention and acceptance issues rather than objects themselves.
i've been a part of the RAOK web-ring for a few months now. i've sent out a few anonymous gifts, the odd bit of yarn or shiny trinket here and there. some pretty notes and letters. basically, what a poor girl such as myself can afford at the moment. i'm trying my best to read others journals, not just skim the FO pictures. and i'm really finding that i feel connected to certain bloggers. i comment regularly, and feel like i've made some real 'friends' in this community. however, i cant help but be jealous when i see posts, and pictures, of all the fantastic material RAOK's some knitters are getting. wads of fleece, drop-spindles, chocolate, buttons, yarn, sheepy-tape-measures, etc. i know it's a RANDOM acts of kindness ring, but i've been feeling very brittle and thin-skinned lately, so to my poor little brain all i see is "geeez, it looks like all the POPULAR bloggers are getting all the cool toys..." i saw a similar comment on Wendy's journal once, someone stating that it seemed a bit... un-even. that will be the nature of any random program, of course. says my logical brain. my emotional raw-nerve brain says i'm being neglected and ignored.

please, keep in mind, rationally i KNOW this isnt true. i'm just sort of trying to provide a little insight into what my little mind is going through right now. if you've been keeping up with my blog, you'll know i've had a LOT on my hands in the last few weeks. did i mention my uncle Wayne died on halloween? i cant remember. and my grandfather's memorial service was today, i spent the WHOLE weekend in new jersey in a tiny, depressing house surrounded by depressed relatives.

if i were 5 years old, this would be the point where i grab my comfort-blankie, pop my thumb into my mouth, and climb into bed with mom and dad and hide until monday. ::sniff:: i think i'll eat some soup and watch cartoon network for now.

dont think i'm ungrateful for all of the comments and love i've felt from those who take the time to comment, or help me search out the perfect (missing) yarn (THANK YOU JEN! i got it today. the noro 26 will get wound into a ball while the soup cooks!). i appreciate every single one of your comments, and the above comments are NOT to dismiss or belittle how much a few spoken words can mean to a girl. thank you, thank you, thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.

(note the predominantly red and green post. that's right, it's FLIP OUT ABOUT HAVING GIFTS READY FOR CHRISTMAS! time.)

Hi Alice,

Don't worry about it - we all feel a little under loved on occasion, and you are right -it has more to do with what is going on with us then how others are actually treating us.

On the LYS envy thing - you should come into the city one day - we can spend the entire day hitting every yarn store in Manhattan and maybe Brooklyn too and stop for coffee and chocolate.

Take care,
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