April 06, 2005


i'm a pretty f#@%ing princess.

i want to go on a date.

it should be one of those occasions where you're expected to dress up, but not TOO much. a 'little black dress' kind of night. with just the right hand-knit wrap over it ;) of course. where i get picked up at 7 and taken out to dinner, a restaurant with low lights and candles on the table. where he'd hold doors for me.

would you believe i've never had a DATE.

every man i've ever 'dated', it never ever started like that. ok, i know thats normal. but... i dunno, i just feel like i've somehow missed out on something. Asshat (thank you nipper, i'll call him that forever-more) was supposed to take me on a 'date' once... however, i had to drive out to riverhead to meet him at his place, and when i got there he asked if i minded if Kevin came along, cause he was kind of bored and looking for something to do. so the three of us went to fridays... and i perched on one of those tall chairs in my skirt and heels and FISHNET stockings. now, i could've said no, he was genuinely asking if it would bother me if kevin came to dinner... but i felt bad for kevin as he had just had a rediculous nuclear-fall-out kind of fight with his parents and was driving around with nowhere to go. so i'm not blaming anyone here... just... even though i've tried a couple of times with people i was already dating, i've never had one of those DATES.

it's been exactly a month since the complete 18-wheeler-out-of-nowhere blindsiding. and no, i'm not over him... but i'm over IT. if that makes sense. i'm willing, and ready, to date again. hell, i'm not only willing, i'm eager! but, how exactly does one accomplish that? hah. turn on the 'vacancies' sign at the end of my driveway? (oh dear, but that does paint an interesting picture...)

here's the thing. i always, always wanted to be the young mom. i always pictured myself as the smart, educated woman who fell in love, got married young, and started a family. hell, that's part of why i chose a career like massage therapy. i can still be a working woman without leaving my children with someone else to raise (some day). it's part of why my other goal in life is to eventually become a midwife, too. it's all part of the plan... hah. only problem is... well, i cant really make the family stuff happen on my own... heh.

i read about all you lovely ladies, and your DH's, and sons, and daughters, and the freshly pregnant ones ripening with spring out there... (congrats!!!) and i cant help but be jealous. but jealous in a happy kind of way, like... it's something i have to look forward to some day.

on that note, that brings me to the contest i'll be starting this weekend. rebecca, you already know what i'm talking about ;) the rest of you, check back soon to find out!

you asked for it chickadee!! I have posted some questions for you!!
Hang in there - when you least expect it you'll find the perfect fella for you and everything will fall into place. I married young and thought that everything was going to be just perfect, right up until the day he asked for a divorce. I swore off men as anything more than play toys and planned to spend the rest of my life single and unfettered. Within six months I found the guy of my dreams and realized that there really are decent men out there who can and will sweep you off your feet. This summer we'll celebrate our 7th anniversary.
Hi Alice....

I have to say that even though I am in a relationship and we are planning on getting married soon I still miss that sensation of first meeting someone. Really lusting after them - everything seems romantic - they are perfect. Ahhh...that is such a nice but short sensation. But, you actually do get to experience it again! I am entering into the married life (something I thought I was too alternative to do...) and won't experience that feeling again (or at least not for a long time...I hope).

Quick side note: Did you ever receive the package from France? I am worried that I sent it to the wrong address or it got lost along the way....just curious :)

Ciao bella...
Strangely I never dated either. I think I've been on more dates with my husband since getting married than we ever did before marrying - and we were "together" for quite a while before we ever really dated. Strange, huh?
I had just sworn off men forever, when I met my husband. We've been together for 18 years. The lust doesn't have to wear off, ours hasn't. Sometimes it goes to the backburner cuz of kids, work, etc., and it does take work, but it's worth it.

Patience. Remember, you're worthy of the right person and the right person will be worthy of you.
You can't rush through the pain unfortunately. Wouldn't Fast Forward be a great thing... and Rewind, or Pause would be even better!!! Don't give up hope. I am 46 and have had my heart broken many a time...but it's still worth it. You take care of YOU!!!! If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!!

Ah Alice... those things you are feeling are all normal, and part of the whole healing process in a way - that's your head telling you this too shall pass and look at all you have to look forward to!

I've had the good, I've had the bad, and it all led me to the best =) I'll bore you with the saga tonight if you want.

You're one of the good ones, I have no trouble believing you'll get what you are after =)
The best date I ever had was this year (I'm 38) with my husband of three years. Ready?

Him: Gorgeous suit.
Me: Floor length gown - gorgeous, of course!
How: Limo
Where: NYC
What: Phantom of the Opera and then dinner at Osteria al Doge

Un. Fucking. Believable.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't give up hope. There's no timetable to life - you can have the most amazing experiences at any age, at any time.


- M
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