March 29, 2005
blogger was hungry
i had a long post, thanking my sockapalooza buddy for my RADICAL socks and answering questions from tina... but blogger ate it!! so for now, you get a picture of the kitten. i'll come back and edit this post later, proper-like.
oh, and anyone who wants to be questioned by me? last chance!! i'll be posting questions for you lovely folks tomorrow.
March 21, 2005
playing along like a good girl...
(real post to appear later tonight or tomorrow, i'm playing the question game!)
Here are the rules for this Blog-a-thon: I'll offer to interview the next how many ever people to respond to this post that will follow these rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
edit: anyone wishing to be interviewed needs to leave a blog address along with their comment! i hate blogger, and unless you give me some information all i get is a no-reply blogger address to write back to you at... and well, no reply... heh. so, anyone who has already asked, or will ask in future to be interviewed... please leave a blog address with your comment!
questions from lisa:
1. How did you get into knitting? Do you know knitters IRL?
see below... i'm cheap, and i was told by the ladies at my LYS that knitting uses less yarn for the same size item... or something like that. so, i taught myself using online tutorials, in one night. by the next night, i was going through increases, decreases, etc. by the end of the first week, i had completed my first FO- a cabled hat.
the only knitters i know IRL are recent acquaintances (i FINALLY found a knitting group, albeit a small one), except for my grandmother. and my grandmother ONLY knits baby-blankets. she's been making the same pattern for the last 25 years, every time a new baby is born in the family.
2. What are your all-time favorite and least favorite projects you've worked on?
favorite: banff and rogue. the patterns are so well writtten! banff, at such a large gague, felt like it just flew along. and rogue, while a smaller gague, was interesting enough that it felt like it was flying as well. now, i havent FINISHED either sweater but... o:)
least favorite: reveal, from rowan. oh, i finished it alright. and i wear it all the time! but... the body's too short, the sleeves are too long, the yarn pilled within the first week, and it's impossible to weave ends in neatly with chunky yarn (or, *i* cant do it anyway).
3. Come on, fess up, you secretly knit with acrylic and don't tell, don't you?
you read me like a book!! i do... just because all of my 'active' projects at the moment are Noro, lets not forget about the stockpile of acrylic WIP's scattered around my room. i made a red heart blanket for my baby cousin's doll recently. and i'm making my first pair of SELF DESIGNED fair isle gloves... with wool-ease.
what i want to know is... how did you KNOW?
4. If you could change places with someone for a week, who would it be and why?
sheer productivity: the yarn harlot!
life i'd like to live: rachael!
place i'd like to live:
but the one and only true answer(dont laugh): my mom. she is a rediculously amazing woman, her strength astounds me every day. she's the main reason i got through these past few weeks... along with the support of you fantastic knitters, of course :)
5. What is your favorite indulgence?
time. time is so precious, and the days are just packed... so nothing feels more decadent than taking an entire day to watch movies, take a bath, knit, eat stuff that's bad for me... and NEVER PUT ON PANTS THE WHOLE DAY.
from rabbitch:
1. When did you first start knitting and why?
september 2003, because i'm cheap. (see above.) also... the more i flipped through pattern books at my LYS it dawned on me that there was really SO much more out there for knitters, and i just prefered the look of knitwear to crochet items. but mostly cause i'm cheap. funny, something i started to SAVE money has resulted in hundreds of dollars of yarn purchases since then. ok my head just spun a little... remind me NEVER to think about the amount of money i spend on yarn again, kay?
2. Do you have a project that has thwarted you at every turn? And if so did you persevere or just send the bastage to the frog pond?
not so much thwarted... but i got 3 sk of noro transitions as a gift, and i've done my DAMNDEST to come up with something to make with it. i've started 7 scarves (and completed 2 of those!), but none were right, so rrriiiiippp. i tried a french loop-type-thing, nope. rrriiiiippp. i've gone through 4 different shrug-type patterns, nope. rrriiippppp. this is mucho expensive yarn, and i love it so! therefor the pattern must be perfect, and show off the rediculous textures perfectly. it's currently sitting in a pile on the floor, every now and then i scowl at it, and perhaps hiss. one thing i'll say for this yarn? it's been knit up and ripped a MILLION times and it still looks fantastic.
3. Have you ever made a typo that was so insanely embarrassing or funny that you've never yet been able to live it down? (Been there.)
when writing an email to someone i had a crush on (this was a business-type email, we were working stage crew on a show together), i told him to wear his blacks the next day, and make sure it's something "you dont lick, cause you'll be sweet in it all day." ok so... it's not THAT terrible. it should've been "like" and "sweating". but i'm still friends with that guy, and every now and then he'll ask me if i've been sweet, or licking my clothes etc... dumb, right?
4. Are you interested in other fiber arts, such as spinning, weaving, etc?
i'm actually leaving in 20 minutes to meet up with some knitting-ladies, and one of them is going to teach me to spin tonight!! quel exciting, right? i used to play with my friend chris's mom's wheel and loom when i was a little kid (now that i know more, i'm AMAZED she let us play on them with such reckless abandon) so i still SORT of know how to do both, but i'd like to get back into it again.
5. Do you like chocolate? If so, milk or dark or nutty or soft centres? You seem to be having a shitty time of late. If you're comfortable doing so, send a snailmail addie and expect a package within the month, as soon as I can get my ass over to my chocolate-pusher's store.
a shitty time, yea THAT'S one way to put it... heh. first of all, dont worry about saying ass. part of why i love reading your blog is because you speak with the same kind of 'voice' i do when writing much of the time. that... balls to the wall, hey this is who i am kind of thing. so fuck modesty ;)
oh, but back to chocolate. yes. i lub chocolate. i'm a very picky girl, though. i have the tastes of a picky 5 year old kid, i dont eat foods that touch, or have more than like 3 ingredients. i prefer my chocolate as just that... chocolate! nice, boring, solid dark chocolate. have you ever had that Lindt 85%cocoa stuff? ONE little square, and i swear i could die.
the ONLY time i'm cool with combo chocolate is in the form of girl scout thin mints. somehow all of my 'dealers' have grown up, so this year i found myself without a hook-up. yeah, it's a dangerous thing.
i'll email you my addy, if you're offering i'd be more than happy to accept. but i hope you dont feel obligated or anything! you knitting-folk have already done more than enough to help me through all this :)
Here are the rules for this Blog-a-thon: I'll offer to interview the next how many ever people to respond to this post that will follow these rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
edit: anyone wishing to be interviewed needs to leave a blog address along with their comment! i hate blogger, and unless you give me some information all i get is a no-reply blogger address to write back to you at... and well, no reply... heh. so, anyone who has already asked, or will ask in future to be interviewed... please leave a blog address with your comment!
questions from lisa:
1. How did you get into knitting? Do you know knitters IRL?
see below... i'm cheap, and i was told by the ladies at my LYS that knitting uses less yarn for the same size item... or something like that. so, i taught myself using online tutorials, in one night. by the next night, i was going through increases, decreases, etc. by the end of the first week, i had completed my first FO- a cabled hat.
the only knitters i know IRL are recent acquaintances (i FINALLY found a knitting group, albeit a small one), except for my grandmother. and my grandmother ONLY knits baby-blankets. she's been making the same pattern for the last 25 years, every time a new baby is born in the family.
2. What are your all-time favorite and least favorite projects you've worked on?
favorite: banff and rogue. the patterns are so well writtten! banff, at such a large gague, felt like it just flew along. and rogue, while a smaller gague, was interesting enough that it felt like it was flying as well. now, i havent FINISHED either sweater but... o:)
least favorite: reveal, from rowan. oh, i finished it alright. and i wear it all the time! but... the body's too short, the sleeves are too long, the yarn pilled within the first week, and it's impossible to weave ends in neatly with chunky yarn (or, *i* cant do it anyway).
3. Come on, fess up, you secretly knit with acrylic and don't tell, don't you?
you read me like a book!! i do... just because all of my 'active' projects at the moment are Noro, lets not forget about the stockpile of acrylic WIP's scattered around my room. i made a red heart blanket for my baby cousin's doll recently. and i'm making my first pair of SELF DESIGNED fair isle gloves... with wool-ease.
what i want to know is... how did you KNOW?
4. If you could change places with someone for a week, who would it be and why?
sheer productivity: the yarn harlot!
life i'd like to live: rachael!
place i'd like to live:
but the one and only true answer(dont laugh): my mom. she is a rediculously amazing woman, her strength astounds me every day. she's the main reason i got through these past few weeks... along with the support of you fantastic knitters, of course :)
5. What is your favorite indulgence?
time. time is so precious, and the days are just packed... so nothing feels more decadent than taking an entire day to watch movies, take a bath, knit, eat stuff that's bad for me... and NEVER PUT ON PANTS THE WHOLE DAY.
from rabbitch:
1. When did you first start knitting and why?
september 2003, because i'm cheap. (see above.) also... the more i flipped through pattern books at my LYS it dawned on me that there was really SO much more out there for knitters, and i just prefered the look of knitwear to crochet items. but mostly cause i'm cheap. funny, something i started to SAVE money has resulted in hundreds of dollars of yarn purchases since then. ok my head just spun a little... remind me NEVER to think about the amount of money i spend on yarn again, kay?
2. Do you have a project that has thwarted you at every turn? And if so did you persevere or just send the bastage to the frog pond?
not so much thwarted... but i got 3 sk of noro transitions as a gift, and i've done my DAMNDEST to come up with something to make with it. i've started 7 scarves (and completed 2 of those!), but none were right, so rrriiiiippp. i tried a french loop-type-thing, nope. rrriiiiippp. i've gone through 4 different shrug-type patterns, nope. rrriiippppp. this is mucho expensive yarn, and i love it so! therefor the pattern must be perfect, and show off the rediculous textures perfectly. it's currently sitting in a pile on the floor, every now and then i scowl at it, and perhaps hiss. one thing i'll say for this yarn? it's been knit up and ripped a MILLION times and it still looks fantastic.
3. Have you ever made a typo that was so insanely embarrassing or funny that you've never yet been able to live it down? (Been there.)
when writing an email to someone i had a crush on (this was a business-type email, we were working stage crew on a show together), i told him to wear his blacks the next day, and make sure it's something "you dont lick, cause you'll be sweet in it all day." ok so... it's not THAT terrible. it should've been "like" and "sweating". but i'm still friends with that guy, and every now and then he'll ask me if i've been sweet, or licking my clothes etc... dumb, right?
4. Are you interested in other fiber arts, such as spinning, weaving, etc?
i'm actually leaving in 20 minutes to meet up with some knitting-ladies, and one of them is going to teach me to spin tonight!! quel exciting, right? i used to play with my friend chris's mom's wheel and loom when i was a little kid (now that i know more, i'm AMAZED she let us play on them with such reckless abandon) so i still SORT of know how to do both, but i'd like to get back into it again.
5. Do you like chocolate? If so, milk or dark or nutty or soft centres? You seem to be having a shitty time of late. If you're comfortable doing so, send a snailmail addie and expect a package within the month, as soon as I can get my ass over to my chocolate-pusher's store.
a shitty time, yea THAT'S one way to put it... heh. first of all, dont worry about saying ass. part of why i love reading your blog is because you speak with the same kind of 'voice' i do when writing much of the time. that... balls to the wall, hey this is who i am kind of thing. so fuck modesty ;)
oh, but back to chocolate. yes. i lub chocolate. i'm a very picky girl, though. i have the tastes of a picky 5 year old kid, i dont eat foods that touch, or have more than like 3 ingredients. i prefer my chocolate as just that... chocolate! nice, boring, solid dark chocolate. have you ever had that Lindt 85%cocoa stuff? ONE little square, and i swear i could die.
the ONLY time i'm cool with combo chocolate is in the form of girl scout thin mints. somehow all of my 'dealers' have grown up, so this year i found myself without a hook-up. yeah, it's a dangerous thing.
i'll email you my addy, if you're offering i'd be more than happy to accept. but i hope you dont feel obligated or anything! you knitting-folk have already done more than enough to help me through all this :)
March 18, 2005
everything is gonna be alright...
things are not great. but... i suppose they're looking up. i'm still a sniveling snot-nosed mess every now and then, but on rachael's advice, i've decided to just embrace it. if i want to cry every night, i'm GOING to!
in terms of the situation with HIM, things have gotten much worse. for some reason everyone in the world seems to have regressed to about a 7th grade level these days. he's mad at me for 'stealing' his friends (can i help it that he's a dismal bastard and no one wants to be around him?), he made a post on his journal stating that i should just "get over it, and quit lying and looking for attention". and i was going to go to his band's first big show tomorrow night anyway to show my support for the other guys... but his 'ex' wrote me a threatening email, stating that i'd better not show my 'fat fucking face' at the club.
in other news, i've been kissed twice in the last week. both people that i've known for a while, and have always sort of 'begninly' (sp?) flirted with. both involved going out to a bar with said person, drinking a little too much... and admitting that we've been flirting with eachother all this time. i'm quite certain nothing will come of either event... but it's been an enormous ego boost, knowing that TWO people in this world still want me, so i cant be all that terrible, right?
my cousin tried to set me up on a date wednesday night, and while i can totaly see why she thought we'd get along well (and we did! like... old friends. no spark) it made me realize i'm totaly... totaly not ready for that. i ended up thinking about mr. ex a few times too many, and had a rediculous bawl-fest when i got home. even contemplated calling him, but i knew that would only make things worse. he's made it quite clear he never wants me to call him again.
um... knitting content
it's been a bit soap-opera-ish around here lately, hasnt it? well... i guess that's just where my brain's been lately. on a complete roller-coaster mind-fuck. it seems like every man around me these days is "on the wank". (i believe that was coined by rabbitch? THANK YOU. i almost spit tea on the computer when reading that entry.)
but! there IS knitting news. or... non-news. i've now ripped out my noro transitions for the SIXTH TIME. at first it was four different attempts at the 'perfect scarf'. when i finally admitted that i like much more light-weight drapey scarves (enter clapotis) i decided it would become a shrug-ish-thing. i'm not even counting the dozens of times i got 3 or 4" into the sleeve (i'm working side-to-side) only to HATE the cuff. two 'real' attempts at a shrug later, and i still hadn't found just the right thing. what to do, what to do? my next attempt will be a k2p1 allover rib with no cuff. maybe that'll do the trick?
i have, however, made monstrous progress on my iro wrap. i hated the old size AND gague, ripped it out completely last sunday, went up a needle size and one additional square (entrelac)... and now i'm back to right where i was when i ripped! some day i'll have a finished project to show for all my efforts :)
thank you, thank you everyday for all your kind words and RAOK's! (more on that to come tomorrow.) you'll never know how much all of your words have meant to me, especially rachael. thank you thank you thank you thank you, world of knit-bloggers. i'm so glad i found you folks.
in terms of the situation with HIM, things have gotten much worse. for some reason everyone in the world seems to have regressed to about a 7th grade level these days. he's mad at me for 'stealing' his friends (can i help it that he's a dismal bastard and no one wants to be around him?), he made a post on his journal stating that i should just "get over it, and quit lying and looking for attention". and i was going to go to his band's first big show tomorrow night anyway to show my support for the other guys... but his 'ex' wrote me a threatening email, stating that i'd better not show my 'fat fucking face' at the club.
in other news, i've been kissed twice in the last week. both people that i've known for a while, and have always sort of 'begninly' (sp?) flirted with. both involved going out to a bar with said person, drinking a little too much... and admitting that we've been flirting with eachother all this time. i'm quite certain nothing will come of either event... but it's been an enormous ego boost, knowing that TWO people in this world still want me, so i cant be all that terrible, right?
my cousin tried to set me up on a date wednesday night, and while i can totaly see why she thought we'd get along well (and we did! like... old friends. no spark) it made me realize i'm totaly... totaly not ready for that. i ended up thinking about mr. ex a few times too many, and had a rediculous bawl-fest when i got home. even contemplated calling him, but i knew that would only make things worse. he's made it quite clear he never wants me to call him again.
um... knitting content
it's been a bit soap-opera-ish around here lately, hasnt it? well... i guess that's just where my brain's been lately. on a complete roller-coaster mind-fuck. it seems like every man around me these days is "on the wank". (i believe that was coined by rabbitch? THANK YOU. i almost spit tea on the computer when reading that entry.)
but! there IS knitting news. or... non-news. i've now ripped out my noro transitions for the SIXTH TIME. at first it was four different attempts at the 'perfect scarf'. when i finally admitted that i like much more light-weight drapey scarves (enter clapotis) i decided it would become a shrug-ish-thing. i'm not even counting the dozens of times i got 3 or 4" into the sleeve (i'm working side-to-side) only to HATE the cuff. two 'real' attempts at a shrug later, and i still hadn't found just the right thing. what to do, what to do? my next attempt will be a k2p1 allover rib with no cuff. maybe that'll do the trick?
i have, however, made monstrous progress on my iro wrap. i hated the old size AND gague, ripped it out completely last sunday, went up a needle size and one additional square (entrelac)... and now i'm back to right where i was when i ripped! some day i'll have a finished project to show for all my efforts :)
thank you, thank you everyday for all your kind words and RAOK's! (more on that to come tomorrow.) you'll never know how much all of your words have meant to me, especially rachael. thank you thank you thank you thank you, world of knit-bloggers. i'm so glad i found you folks.
March 12, 2005
SP's rock!
today was a perfect day to receive a package from my secret pal. i was DESPERATLY in need of that particular kind of pick-me-up. thank you thank you thank you!! the lovely surprise included:
a beautiful bag
2 balls of rowan... biggie print? i forget
a czech knitting magazine
and a lovely card :)
this is the first time i've ever held an actual ball of rowan yarns in my own to hands! whee!! and lucky for me i have a friend who spent a few weeks in the czech republic last summer, so she's going to attempt to help me with some translation. wheeee!!
that's all i have time for at the moment... life is still crazy. still sucks sometimes... but not all the time any more. that's progress, right?
oh, and all over the blog-world it's being said that blogger is being very unkind about comments these days, so if anyone wants to drop me a line feel free to write to me at yarNerd at gmail.com
a beautiful bag
2 balls of rowan... biggie print? i forget
a czech knitting magazine
and a lovely card :)
this is the first time i've ever held an actual ball of rowan yarns in my own to hands! whee!! and lucky for me i have a friend who spent a few weeks in the czech republic last summer, so she's going to attempt to help me with some translation. wheeee!!
that's all i have time for at the moment... life is still crazy. still sucks sometimes... but not all the time any more. that's progress, right?
oh, and all over the blog-world it's being said that blogger is being very unkind about comments these days, so if anyone wants to drop me a line feel free to write to me at yarNerd at gmail.com
March 11, 2005
moving on/backwards?
he bought a cd for me the night before he broke up with me, The Killers. he knew i had been wanting it for a while, i wasnt feeling good, it was on sale at best buy... it was meant to be. i'm glad i got that out of him at the last minute, as it were.
but i was getting to a point, wasnt i? i've had that cd in my car on constant shuffle since sunday. i'm so incredibly in love with it. and one track in particular, "smile like you mean it" seems to come up with a disturbing regularity.
i'm trying, i really am.
my knitting, though... SUCKS. i have shitloads of red yarn that i'll never get paid for now. (i was making Zissou hats for the band. they were supposed to pay me this week.) and i've lost all interest in any project that is REMOTELY connected to him. not even consciously, i'll just pick up something, and ... nah. i dont feel like working on that. the kitty i was making for my little cousin? i made one for chris. (that will probably be neglected in the back of his closet forever more, or otherwise neglected.) the hourglass sweater? the silk garden gauntlets? blah.
the worst? i'm one ball away from completing my Banff sweater. i have no money. i've worked on this project EXCLUSIVELY at his house, at band practices. he offered to buy me the last ball, if i could find any online. it now sits on my floor, one ball from completion.
i've now regressed to some of my really old WIP's... my Iro entrelac wrap, silk garden Rosedale United, my silky wool sweater. but even then, my heart's not really in it. i've made less progress on my knitting in the past few days than i did at any band practice in the last two months. its like i just cant seem to get into it.
i've been spending a lot of time watching movies, reading trashy magazines, trying to re-hash what happened. but due to some particularly harsh events last night (him cursing me out, and making a point to inform me that he was out with his ex girlfriend) i'm finding it easier to ... begin to contemplate getting over him. the man i miss doesnt exist any more...
tomorrow night, i'm going out with the girls. good lord, i need this.
(thank you, everyone, for the kind words lately. i just wish some of you had left email addresses i could reply to you personally at! some made me smile, a few made me cry, but every single comment has made me profoundly grateful for finding this wonderful world of knit-bloggers. every single word has made a difference, thank you all.)
but i was getting to a point, wasnt i? i've had that cd in my car on constant shuffle since sunday. i'm so incredibly in love with it. and one track in particular, "smile like you mean it" seems to come up with a disturbing regularity.
i'm trying, i really am.
my knitting, though... SUCKS. i have shitloads of red yarn that i'll never get paid for now. (i was making Zissou hats for the band. they were supposed to pay me this week.) and i've lost all interest in any project that is REMOTELY connected to him. not even consciously, i'll just pick up something, and ... nah. i dont feel like working on that. the kitty i was making for my little cousin? i made one for chris. (that will probably be neglected in the back of his closet forever more, or otherwise neglected.) the hourglass sweater? the silk garden gauntlets? blah.
the worst? i'm one ball away from completing my Banff sweater. i have no money. i've worked on this project EXCLUSIVELY at his house, at band practices. he offered to buy me the last ball, if i could find any online. it now sits on my floor, one ball from completion.
i've now regressed to some of my really old WIP's... my Iro entrelac wrap, silk garden Rosedale United, my silky wool sweater. but even then, my heart's not really in it. i've made less progress on my knitting in the past few days than i did at any band practice in the last two months. its like i just cant seem to get into it.
i've been spending a lot of time watching movies, reading trashy magazines, trying to re-hash what happened. but due to some particularly harsh events last night (him cursing me out, and making a point to inform me that he was out with his ex girlfriend) i'm finding it easier to ... begin to contemplate getting over him. the man i miss doesnt exist any more...
tomorrow night, i'm going out with the girls. good lord, i need this.
(thank you, everyone, for the kind words lately. i just wish some of you had left email addresses i could reply to you personally at! some made me smile, a few made me cry, but every single comment has made me profoundly grateful for finding this wonderful world of knit-bloggers. every single word has made a difference, thank you all.)
March 08, 2005
stick to routine.
same place, same hello same goodbye helps you get through beat-up insides.
-alkaline trio
ladies and gentlemen, i have been dumped.
not the kind of dumped where... you saw it coming and half expected it. you were going to say something yourself, but he got to it first.
the kind of dumped where you thought everything was fantastic. you were talking about a future together just days before. you were completely in love. he had convinced you that he was also in love, and told you that you never needed to worry about losing him.
the kind of dumped where he's not even the person you met any more, and you cant even be angry because you're so worried about him. where you're considering calling his mom, or his sister, because it doesnt matter if he hates you any more.
well... ok so that was a little too much information but... i had to get it off my chest.
i started, and finished, a noro transitions scarf last night. i find that somewhat symbolic. i have the urge to call him at least once an hour, and i find that keeping my hands moving keeps me from giving in to that. i spent all day with my little brother, and managed to make it through. one day at a time, right?
i've been crying on and off, and i have a feeling i will continue to do so for a while. i've been with boyfriends 3x longer than this, but it was never anything real. this was something i could believe in, and still do. i dont get the feeling that it's done... but i know he's in a dark place, and needs lots of time to heal and learn to face his problems instead of pushing them away. and i know that's going to involve a lot of hurting for me in the meantime.
the only thing that seems to help? family, and knitting. i may even get my sockapalooza socks done in time.
i'm sorry i've gone so completely off-topic with this post. i really dont want every single one of my friends calling me wanting to know what happened (we've been hearing from day one how perfect we are together, i'm sure this will spark some confusion), so i'm not posting this on my regular journal just yet. but i had to get it out SOMEWHERE... i feel like i should be dying, but somehow i'm still here, so i'm going to keep knitting.
-alkaline trio
ladies and gentlemen, i have been dumped.
not the kind of dumped where... you saw it coming and half expected it. you were going to say something yourself, but he got to it first.
the kind of dumped where you thought everything was fantastic. you were talking about a future together just days before. you were completely in love. he had convinced you that he was also in love, and told you that you never needed to worry about losing him.
the kind of dumped where he's not even the person you met any more, and you cant even be angry because you're so worried about him. where you're considering calling his mom, or his sister, because it doesnt matter if he hates you any more.
well... ok so that was a little too much information but... i had to get it off my chest.
i started, and finished, a noro transitions scarf last night. i find that somewhat symbolic. i have the urge to call him at least once an hour, and i find that keeping my hands moving keeps me from giving in to that. i spent all day with my little brother, and managed to make it through. one day at a time, right?
i've been crying on and off, and i have a feeling i will continue to do so for a while. i've been with boyfriends 3x longer than this, but it was never anything real. this was something i could believe in, and still do. i dont get the feeling that it's done... but i know he's in a dark place, and needs lots of time to heal and learn to face his problems instead of pushing them away. and i know that's going to involve a lot of hurting for me in the meantime.
the only thing that seems to help? family, and knitting. i may even get my sockapalooza socks done in time.
i'm sorry i've gone so completely off-topic with this post. i really dont want every single one of my friends calling me wanting to know what happened (we've been hearing from day one how perfect we are together, i'm sure this will spark some confusion), so i'm not posting this on my regular journal just yet. but i had to get it out SOMEWHERE... i feel like i should be dying, but somehow i'm still here, so i'm going to keep knitting.
March 05, 2005
nothing clever
first off, thank you Liz, from RAOK. she sent me a flower! a blue-mountain-cards flower. it definatly brightened my day :) aaaand it seems that at least for now, winter has indeed fucked off. i just got back from enjoying my lunch outside in the balmy 40-degree weather!
second, thanks to the FANTASTIC advice of you lovely ladies, i'm making jennie not one but TWO items. first, belle paquita. it came highly recomended from a few of you, and frankly it would look absolutely lovely on her frame. now, i have to decide what COLOR... hah. i'm also going to make her a charlotte shawl. last fall, i was fantastically RAOK'd with the pattern and i have, unfortunatly, yet to try it out. so jennie-bear will be the recipient of my first charlotte! i have a feeling it wont be my last, though.
my other current project in the works is a bit of a laugh, actually. have any of you seen the Life Aquatic? if you have, you'll know what i'm talking about! my boyfriend's band has requested that i make them TEAM ZISSOU HATS!! bright redish-orange ribbed caps in 4 different styles. if you've seen the movie, i'm making the hats worn by Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe, and... the guy who was playing guitar the whole time. i got 1lb. of red wool off of ebay for $8!! i was affraid it would be too dark, but it's exactly the right color (as compared to movie stills on my computer anyway).
my next post:
thanking all of the lovely people who have RAOK'd me recently. michelle, colette, etc... holy cow, i love you people. have i told you that lately?
second, thanks to the FANTASTIC advice of you lovely ladies, i'm making jennie not one but TWO items. first, belle paquita. it came highly recomended from a few of you, and frankly it would look absolutely lovely on her frame. now, i have to decide what COLOR... hah. i'm also going to make her a charlotte shawl. last fall, i was fantastically RAOK'd with the pattern and i have, unfortunatly, yet to try it out. so jennie-bear will be the recipient of my first charlotte! i have a feeling it wont be my last, though.
my other current project in the works is a bit of a laugh, actually. have any of you seen the Life Aquatic? if you have, you'll know what i'm talking about! my boyfriend's band has requested that i make them TEAM ZISSOU HATS!! bright redish-orange ribbed caps in 4 different styles. if you've seen the movie, i'm making the hats worn by Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe, and... the guy who was playing guitar the whole time. i got 1lb. of red wool off of ebay for $8!! i was affraid it would be too dark, but it's exactly the right color (as compared to movie stills on my computer anyway).
my next post:
thanking all of the lovely people who have RAOK'd me recently. michelle, colette, etc... holy cow, i love you people. have i told you that lately?
March 04, 2005
short and sweet.
dear winter,
fuck off.
i mean it, i'm through with you. stop calling, give me back my house key, and i DONT want to have lunch with you on my day off.
dear everyone else,
send flowers. before i shoot someone.
(disclaimer: no sending of flowers is necessary... i'm just... in one of THOSE moods, ya know? i've still got the Ick, i havent had time 'alone' with the boyfriend in forever if you get what i mean, all my knitting looks like crap, and i slipped and fell in old snow on my way back to my apartment this morning. my butt's wet. i'm off to a long... hot... shower. oh yes, there WILL be candles involved.)
fuck off.
i mean it, i'm through with you. stop calling, give me back my house key, and i DONT want to have lunch with you on my day off.
dear everyone else,
send flowers. before i shoot someone.
(disclaimer: no sending of flowers is necessary... i'm just... in one of THOSE moods, ya know? i've still got the Ick, i havent had time 'alone' with the boyfriend in forever if you get what i mean, all my knitting looks like crap, and i slipped and fell in old snow on my way back to my apartment this morning. my butt's wet. i'm off to a long... hot... shower. oh yes, there WILL be candles involved.)
March 03, 2005
a puzzled girl
first things first, i have big job news. but i'm not able to share it just YET, as nothing's official and i dont want to completely jinx myself. but soon... soon!
in other news, i am in DEEP thought, and it's making my little head hurt.
my darling jennie-bear, the reason i made it out of Northeastern University alive, is in desperate need of a hand-knitted item. except, she doesnt know it yet. heh.
a little backround on my darling: jennie-bear is a phenominal seamstress. she made most of my renaissance faire garb, and is currently a costume design grad student at Illinois State. the last time i saw her was when we drove there, from connecticut, for some apartment hunting last summer.
the reason she needs something knitted NOW? tomorrow is the 4-year aniversary of when she essentially saved my life. long story, i'm not getting into it, but i owe so much to that fantastic girl. and it came to me recently that i have NEVER given her anything hand-knitted. i feel confident that my skills have now reached a level where i wouldnt feel like a fool giving a garter-stitch scarf to a costume designer (oh, and a masterful quilter to boot!). so, now's the time!
only problem? what do you make for an infinatly adorable, massively classy babe like the jennie-bear? she's 5-feet-tall (unless she's wearing her Big Girl boots, hehe), with ass-length amazing strawberry-red hair. translucent skin, just-enough freckles in the summer, and fills out a bodice well (i'm not trying to say she's stacked, she's all over curvy!).
i'd like to make her something that would work well not only in every day life, but could also cross over into ren-faire territory, possibly. she kind of reminds me of that cool older aunt that everyone loves... she's got the air of maturity and age, but still a kick-ass gal. the kind you'd like to hit an art gallery and then a dive bar with all in one night.
ANY ideas?
in other news, i am in DEEP thought, and it's making my little head hurt.
my darling jennie-bear, the reason i made it out of Northeastern University alive, is in desperate need of a hand-knitted item. except, she doesnt know it yet. heh.
a little backround on my darling: jennie-bear is a phenominal seamstress. she made most of my renaissance faire garb, and is currently a costume design grad student at Illinois State. the last time i saw her was when we drove there, from connecticut, for some apartment hunting last summer.
the reason she needs something knitted NOW? tomorrow is the 4-year aniversary of when she essentially saved my life. long story, i'm not getting into it, but i owe so much to that fantastic girl. and it came to me recently that i have NEVER given her anything hand-knitted. i feel confident that my skills have now reached a level where i wouldnt feel like a fool giving a garter-stitch scarf to a costume designer (oh, and a masterful quilter to boot!). so, now's the time!
only problem? what do you make for an infinatly adorable, massively classy babe like the jennie-bear? she's 5-feet-tall (unless she's wearing her Big Girl boots, hehe), with ass-length amazing strawberry-red hair. translucent skin, just-enough freckles in the summer, and fills out a bodice well (i'm not trying to say she's stacked, she's all over curvy!).
i'd like to make her something that would work well not only in every day life, but could also cross over into ren-faire territory, possibly. she kind of reminds me of that cool older aunt that everyone loves... she's got the air of maturity and age, but still a kick-ass gal. the kind you'd like to hit an art gallery and then a dive bar with all in one night.
ANY ideas?
